Saturday, August 28, 2010

Slight risk of TMI...

Now this has TRULY become picture it raw, rather than eat it raw. I've had to roll back my food all the way to boiled chicken and cooked, pureed vegetables: I just started gaining and exercising when my middle died on me again. Right now I am picturing all sorts of food, I am telling you: I have been eating only clear liquids since twelve noon yesterday and it is almost dinner-time.

Today I ingested a very tiny spaceship (-ish...), destined to travel through my bowels and return with pictures - well, not excatly return since it is disposable, but the pictures it snaps are received by a bulky piece of equipment strapped around my waist with a velcro belt. At the moment I am just praying for the little control light to stop blinking so I can go throw myself at some boiled chicken and pureed carrots in the fridge, but in the long run I am of course praying that this tiny expedition yields some constructive results.

It is weird being ill this way, because althought I can list a number of things that are wrong with me, none of them are things I would like to say out loud while anyone is listening. I have been on and off ill for so long now that I feel compelled to hide it from everybody I know, not just because it is an unsavoury problem, but because I don't want to be the friend/sister/girlfriend who is always "ill". I am in a terrible mood, and being with people just reminds me a) how little energy I have, and b) that I am not by far able to be the relative or friend that I would like to be.

My culinary successes at the moment are so small I don't even feel like sharing because it's so pathetic. Like who knew that if you boil carrot slices for 3 hours and blend them in their own water the result is ridiculously sweet? (And a big yay for that...) Answer: nobody, because nobody in their right mind would ever boil a carrot for that long. It might be a while, but I am sho' lookin' forward to cooking up something a little more...normal.


  1. *hugs* for you, Anne. I've got my fingers crossed for you (much like you did for me!) and I hope they are able to figure out what is causing the problem. Hang in there! xo

  2. I know you wrote this such a long time ago, but I can totally relate to feeling like the bad friend/relative, because of my health, the one who never feels up to anything. Things are getting better since having my amalgams replaced and starting chelation, but it's an uphill battle. I know you have been seeing some gains recently too. Your gains, just like your culinary successes here, may be small to you, but however small they are, remember that they ARE gains.